So my friend's boyfriend was on some pretty legit painkillers yesterday. So he decided to text me.
Ryan:
I think you're sexy.
Me:
Wut.
Ryan:
Neeredeerefjjdjzj jshahqbdnd. Bbbbcjskcbdud dhxnznd and fend CBC. CNN DBS ebbs Anna dnnd FCC nd dnnd dbdjxn. Woodland. Dndnxn dnnd snnn dj dndbd Ann
Me. Wut.
Ryan:
Nero. The heavY flag flaps at m1dn1ght. And; roses come in many colors.
Me:
Are you high?
Ryan:
Are YOU high?
Me:
Nope.
Ryan:
All the faults belong to you and you alone; Et tu, Brute?
Me:
:(
Ryan:
Nerrrrrrrr
Me:
No seriously are you high.
Ryan:
Noooopooooolooopoooope
Ryan:
(Sends me a picture of my dog) Laall look at this dawg
Me:
Dat's my dog!
Ryan:
You my dog!
Me:
No you!
Ryan:
I said your my fickle dog wench
Me:
Nope.
Ryan:
GODDAMMIT TOU ARE MY DOG
Me:
Nope.
Ryan:
BITCH GON GET CUT BITCH GON GET CUT REEL SOON
Me:
Nope.
Ryan:
I lpoooooooove you. If maecupials could be friends that would be us.
Me:
Like a koala and a wallaby.
Ryan:
YEAH Cept koalas are not marsipials.
Me:
Yes they are!
Ryan:
Uh no their not steppy
Me:
Yes they are!
Ryan:
Nuuuh and I kno MUH zoology.
Ryan:
I wish Erin awas. Black.
Ryan:
I also wish she didn't have a dick.
Me:
I knew it!
Ryan:
U ugly like Val Kilmer
Ryan:
Ya
Me:
No I'm not! Val Kilmer is a hot piece of ass, anyway.
Ryan:
I'd fuck Bally
Ryan:
Valley
Ryan:
Vally
Ryan:
Val
Me:
He's Moses and God in the Prince of Egypt.
Ryan:
I have frequented Egypt with my presence previously.
And this is where it ends. I imagine he blacked out.
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